HI! I'm Larry the swearing squirrel. I like a good joke, here is a couple!

A snake is driving a bicycle in the desert. Someone comes up to him and says "How are you driving a bicycle, you are a snake.". The snake says "oh fuck" and falls down.

If a bear is chasing you, you climb up on a tree, and the bear leaves you alone, it is a brown bear. If you climb on the tree, the bear shakes the tree, then leaves you alone, it is a black bear. If there are no trees, it is a white bear, and you are fucked.

A hedgehog and a duck meet. Duck says "Hey hedgehog, I can teach you how to fly!" So they walk to the side of a cliff. Duck says "you have to keep focused and steady your breathing the whole time" so the hedgehog closes his eyes and focuses. "Now jump!" says duck. They both jump. Falling down and down, duck asks "Are you keeping focused?". "YES!". "Are you keeping your breathing steady?" "YES!" "Are you flapping your wings?" "I don't have any!" "Then you are fucked."